Mary Sue Carroll remembered

BY CYNTHIA MCMULLEN

TIMES-DISPATCH STAFF WRITER

Sunday, September 4, 2005

People ask me why I act," Mary Sue Carroll said in a 2000 interview with Times-Dispatch theater writer Roy Proctor.

"My answer is: 'Because I can't not do it. I feel like I'm dying when I'm not doing it.' Nothing makes me feel as alive as acting does."

Acting made her feel alive; she made others feel alive.

The biographical details of Carroll's life are public record: born in New Jersey, educated in Virginia, wanted to be a jockey (the equestrian kind) and ended up an actress, leaned toward the nontraditional but performed in everything from Fringe to mainstream.

What her colleagues, friends and family want you to know about Mary Sue Carroll, who died Aug. 19 at age 52, is that she commanded a level of love and respect rare in any community.

As soon as she died, people began calling to say how much she meant to them. The outpouring was so great, an entire section would have to be laid bare to accommodate it all.

Take it on faith -- unless you're already a fan -- that Carroll did some great theater between her 1985 Richmond debut and her final performances with the Firehouse Theatre Project last fall and Richmond Ensemble Theatre in March.

"Mary Sue was physically diminutive," said Eric Dobbs, theatrical photographer and actor. "But she had a stage presence out of all proportion to her size. . . . Her largeness of spirit and intellect made her a great presence offstage as well."

She also loved and supported her adopted hometown despite suggestions that an actress of her caliber belonged in New York.

"The biggest part of Mary Sue Carroll was Richmond," said her son, Donny Lee.

Lee, 25, is one of his mother's biggest cheerleaders. "She was an awesome, awesome actress. She loved being here because the theater community was so close to home to her. She saw the arts in Richmond as bigger and better."

His mother would go out of her way to help someone out, Lee said. "She would say, 'Read the book before you judge it.'"

Her friend Randy Strawderman is quick to agree. "She loved people . . . she sought them out.

"That's how she approached her work, embracing the character. She could find the honesty in it and had this tremendous humor and wacky quality. Once people worked with her, they wanted to keep working with her."

"Whenever I saw her, whether it was holding court backstage or pumping gas at a Broad Street self-serve, she always rushed forward with a torrent of warm words, a wry smile and an all-embracing hug," recalled Bruce Miller, artistic director of Barksdale Theatre. "Her talent and her humanity are irreplaceable."

Strawderman, who teaches at the Governor's School for the Arts in Norfolk, met Carroll when she took classes at his Actors Studio about 20 years ago.

That's also where Bridget Gethins met Carroll. "We were both mothers doing acting," said Gethins. "We became very close."

When Carroll told Gethins she was sick she was diagnosed in late November with lung cancer, which eventually spread to her kidneys and brain -- Gethins said, "OK, I'm on this."

Despite chemotherapy and radiation, Carroll had to be hospitalized only once. By the time she needed "somebody to hang with her," Gethins stepped into one of the ultimately hardest roles of her life: watching her friend die.

"What we were going through was hard," said Gethins, "but we had fun. She compensated so beautifully for her condition. She just really fully engaged in life."

One of Carroll's dreams was to visit the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in Scotland. Having convinced her doctors she could handle the trip, she asked Strawderman to accompany her; by this time, she needed some assistance.

The problem was securing another airline ticket. "I was getting nowhere with it," he said, chuckling at the memory.

"She got on the phone and got the runaround, too. She said, 'My name is Mary Sue Carroll. I have seven brain tumors and I've just been through cranial radiation.'

"Not only did she get me a ticket on the same flight but she saved money and totally made friends over the phone [with the salesperson].

"Her sense of humor was never impaired; she sees things in such an imaginative way." In fact, he said, she saw the disease as a lesson, saying what a blessing it was to be learning more about life.

Despite some difficulties such as accessibility (Carroll was using a walker), the trip was a success: "She totally captivated everyone."

Carroll had begun writing a one-woman show about her cancer experience that she hoped to perform in Edinburgh next year.

The day she and Strawderman returned from Scotland, she said, "I did it, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did," he replied.

Eight days later, Carroll died at home, surrounded by those who loved her most.

Jack Cummings III, creative artistic director for New York's Transport Group, was among that inner circle.

After directing Carroll in a 1993 play in Richmond, he said, "We became fast artistic friends.

"She had a huge influence on me as an actor. Enormous. Even being in New York for almost a decade, I still put her in that upper echelon of actors.

"When I would talk about her to my wife, I would say, 'She's the Colleen Dewhurst of Richmond.'"

Gethins points out that several plays Carroll starred in, including Richmond Triangle Players' 2002 production of "My Left Breast," focused on women's issues.

In a review of the one-woman show, Proctor quoted and commented on Carroll's character, a breast cancer victim who's making the most of her life:

"The night before I went into the hospital, this is what I did," she says with an impish gleam.

"I danced."

And does she ever!

There's an excellent chance now that Carroll is dancing . . . with an impish gleam and a smile on her face.

"Maybe it was the two dimples she had," said her son. "But she could light up a room."

Contact Cynthia McMullen at (804) 649-6361 or cmcmullen@timesdispatch.com